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by Yujianlong
Summary: Have you ever thought about Jak and how lost he must feel in Haven?  Daxter is telling the story of the renegade hero from the perspective of a best friend. SongFic to Behind Blue Eyes by Limp Bizkit. R&R please  T to be on the save side!


Hello Everyone

This is kind of a random SongFic that came to my mind some month ago and I could finally find the motivation to finalize it. It is centered around Jak and told from Daxter's Point of view.

**The Song 'Behind Blue Eyes' belongs to Limp Bizkit  
>Jak, Daxter and all the other characters belong to Naughty Dog.<strong>

Sadly enough I still don't own Torn.. neither Jak. But if I happen to get them, I'll let you know.

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><p><strong>HOME<strong>

Daxter had long noticed that Jak was no longer the Jak from Sandover. Not only had he suddenly gained the ability to speak, but he also had developed a tendency to be extremely bitter. His whole attitude screamed _depression_. He was kind of passive aggressive and to top this all, he was fucking bad tempered.

Daxter sighed. He could hardly do anything about his best friend's bad mood. And he surely would not blame him for it. The best he had managed so far (since he had rescued him from Praxis' prison) was a small grin.

At the very moment, Jak was on one of the stupid missions Tattooed Wonder had given him. Daxter shuddered. His best friend was risking his life over and over again for fucking nothing! The ottsel shook his head and stared to the door, impatiently waiting for his blue eyed friend to return.

_**No one knows what it's like to be the bad man  
>to be the sad man behind blue eyes <strong>_

The blue eyes were the only thing that hadn't changed about Jak. Although they were darkened by sorrows most of the time, Daxter could still read Jak's thoughts in them like he could in a book. Thas brilliant blue! But sometimes a pitch black ate up the blue – every time Jak changed into this creature.

None understood what this meant for the best fighter the Underground had seen in a long time. The physical pain he had to endure every time he changed. The even stronger pain he suffered when changing back. The feeling of people staring at him, panic in their eyes! A little wince escaped Daxter as he though about the hurt he had seen in Jak's eyes every time he changed back and the citizens he had just saved were running away from him, screaming in terror.

These people didn't give Jak the acceptance and home he would have needed so desperately. They didn't see that he was nothing more than a kid; lost in a city he didn't know.

_**and no one knows what it's like to be hated **_

The Crimson Guard had spread the rumour that the dark creature that hunted the city was a monster sent from the Metal Head Leader to weaken the city's defences.

None of them understood that the guy they were putting their hopes on was the same person as the creature they hated so much. None wanted to see that the world didn't consist of good and evil only. But Daxter had learnt to understand. He knew that Dark Jak – as he called him – was what he was because every time he showed, his body was in agony. He couldn't even think straight most of the time because the pain made it impossible. He slashed and bit everyone close enough without really noticing what he did. Dark might have been a killing machine – a lethal monster – but he was still somewhat elfish. Without the pain that ripped his control apart every time he was let lose, he might have been less brutal and murderous. Dark, too, didn't have a place to call home. Maybe this place didn't exist at all.

_**to be faded to telling only lies**_

Daxter was pretty sure that he – and maybe the old Onin – were the only living people who knew that Jak and the monster were the same person. Whenever someone pointed out the similarity in their look Jak fell silent and left the talking to his ottsel companion. Not that he would have talked much anyway, but still.

And every time the discussion came to Dark, he left the scene as soon as possible and went out there to kill. It was his way of dealing with a pain that was so big that none could even come close to guessing what it meant to Jak. None could understand it. He tried to find acceptance but there was none. None would bother to stop for a minute and hold out a hand to a lost boy. Not in this city.

_**But my dreams they aren't as empty  
>as my conscience seems to be <strong>_

Even Keira was afraid of her former best friend. Although she had seen Daxter being transformed into an ottsel because of dark Eco, she closed her eyes to the fact that Jak had changed into someone different. She didn't want to see why he had become so coldhearted.

_**I have hours only lonely  
>my love is vengeance that's never free<strong>_

It wasn't as if only Daxter could understand everything that Jak now was. More likely not even the ottsel could grasp the bigger picture. But he just accepted what his best friend had become. To have Dark in him didn't change Jak enough to be a completely different person. He was just not exactly the same anymore.

But he still loved the peaceful nights when he didn't need to hunt Metal Heads. He loved lying on the roof of the underground and doing nothing but stargazing. Eventually he fell asleep up there and Daxter would use all the strength his little ottsel body had and bring a blanket to prevent Jak from getting a horrible cold.

And Jak loved adventures. He needed the adrenalin like the air to breath. He loved racing and he enjoyed winning. His talent had not suffered at all in the two years he had spent in the Baron's cell. Jak was a natural racer and an intuitive fighter. Nothing could really harm him. Not physically at least…

**No one knows what it's like to feel these feelings**

It wasn't as if Jak hadn't tried to talk to somebody about his darker self. But the only person the tall and evil would trust enough to tell about didn't want to see the truth. Keira changed the subject every single time Jak had tried to bring the discussion to the point where they actually had to talk about what had happened during the last two years. And then one day he just gave it up.

Daxter could not understand her. Not at all! She had always seemed to be the best friend and maybe a bit more to Jak. But since they had found her here in Heaven she didn't care about him at all anymore. The ottsel sighed.

_**like I do and I blame you **_

Jak's only anchor now was fighting. He fought to take revenge. Daxter knew that it wouldn't really help to calm the feelings inside him, but maybe it would make the other people see.

Sometimes Daxter thought the Tattooed Wonder could understand a part of Jak's pain. He gave him the chance to go out on missions. He accepted his distant behaviour and the fact that he didn't seem to care about the city itself at all.

Daxter could understand very well that blaming your own misery and pain on someone else was the only way to keep your sanity in such a situation. How else should you deal with two years of constant torture and pain?

_**no one bites back as hard on their anger  
>none of my pain woe can show through<strong>_

Jak would destroy Praxis. There was no way around it. And if it would cost him his sanity and life, he would let the Baron pay for what he had done to him. A cold fear crept up Daxters back at the thought. Jak literally lived on his hate. What would happen when he finally achieved what he wanted? What would happen when Praxis and Erol were dead?

_**But my dreams they aren't as empty  
>as my consciences seems to be<br>I have hours only lonely  
>my love is vengeance that's never free<strong>_

_**Discover L.I.M.P. say it  
>L.I.M.P. say it discover<br>L.I.M.P. say it discover  
>L.I.M.P. say it discover<strong>_

_- some weeks later -_

Jak was walking back into the direction of the new head quarter. The Freedom League had taken over the rule over the city, lead by Ashelin Praxis and her council.

The days had become a bit calmer, now that Kor was no longer leading the metal heads. They still fought bitterly for every inch of territory, but they didn't really stand a chance.

The demolition duo had – like so many others – found shelter in the new head quarter. They had their room on the same floor as Torn, who had proven to be a real friend lately. Somehow Jak had know the older man not to be as harsh and cold as he always acted. And he had been right. The Tattooed Wonder was still a very strategic and slightly cold man, but Jak didn't mind. They had the same attitude to words: They didn't really like them. Given this behaviour, they could silently sit together and do paper works for hours, knowing that they were not alone.

Daxter sat on Jak shoulder chattering about a girl he had just spotted somewhere on the street. Jak smiled – something he had only recently learned again. To his surprise Ashelin as well as Torn didn't mind what he was. Ashelin's only comment had been, that she would prefer not to meet Dark in a lonely, dead ended alley in the middle of the night. Torn had just shrugged.

Only Keira still had an issue with accepting his darker part, but she got better at it daily.

Everything seemed fine when suddenly an explosion shook the ground. Jak spun around just in time to see the palace collapsing. Now running into the direction of the Head Quarter, Jak didn't see the Freedom League Guard that blocked the entrance in time and collided with them. Snarling at them for standing in his way he was taken by surprise when they explained to him that he had to show up at the council.

_**No one knows what it's like to be mistreated **_

Jak couldn't believe what the council had chosen to do. Daxter went all hysteric and unbelievingly angry. Ashelin looked as if she was about to kill everyone in the room. Torn went mental.

But nothing changed the decision. They would be banished from the city because they were too dangerous. Suddenly someone had realised the connection between Dark and Jak. Now, when there was hardly any danger anymore they had realised how they could get rid of the man who had saved them.

But somehow Jak could not really blame them. Dark _was_ dangerous. Dark was lethal. Nevertheless he had done no harm to any of the Freedom League Guards or citizens. Never!

_**to be defeated behind blue eyes **_

When Damos' people found him in the desert he was broken.

He didn't care about Heaven City anymore. And he didn't give a fuck about the ones that had called themselves friends. Ashelin was the Baroness of the whole rotten place and she had not done anything. Samos and Keira had just been standing there, not saying a word when the guards had lead him into the transporter. That Torn had been screaming and shouting all the time didn't matter.

Daxter didn't necessarily agree. Not during the first few days. But he had soon learned that the way Spargus accepted them was completely different to the way Heaven had (or hadn't). Nevertheless he could feel that Jak missed something. The saviour of the world still hadn't found a place to call home. Daxter had, though, the moment he officially became owner of the Naughty Ottsel. It was his place. And he had loved to come back to his bar after the though missions. Something he missed a lot. But it didn't matter, did it? They were banished. At least he had found his home for a few weeks. Jak had been walking the city for month without finding peace.

_**and no one knows how to say that they're sorry **_

Weeks passed before Jak actually found a way back into Heaven. He couldn't have cared less about the people there. Basically he had just followed the path in the mountains because he was curious.

Finding out what Veger had done somewhat eased the pain in his heart but it was not enough to make up for what his _friends _had done – or better, had not done.

_**and don't worry I'm not telling lies**_

_**But my dreams they aren't as empty a  
>as my consciences seems to be<br>I have hours only lonely  
>my love is vengeance that's never free<strong>_

When he set foot into the Naughty Ottsel and saw Torn, saw the true smile on the older man's face he surprisingly finally felt home. Truly and fully home. Although the place had been changed into a strategic head quarter and the man behind the computer looked more tired than ever, Jak felt home.

He listened to Daxter's shouting while he cursed Torn for destroying the bar and looked at Tatoos' face. And suddenly he realised why he had come back. He grinned: "You're just so incredibly lost without me, right?"

Jak didn't notice that Daxter's chattering had stopped and that the ottsel's lips were curved up into a big grin. He wouldn't have bothered anyway.

_**No one knows what it's like to be the bad man  
>to be the sad man behind blue eyes<strong>_

Daxter felt the broken pieces in Jak build a whole again. And he realised that now, after almost three years in Heaven City, Jak finally felt home and welcome in this city. Outside the war raged and the fight didn't stop for even the shortest moment. But inside the Naughty Ottsel the world was at peace.

At least until Captain Laryngitis started to hand out orders again. Daxter rolled his eyes: "This planet is just so screwed without me, you know Jak?"

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><p>Hope you liked it.<p>

R&R - thanks!


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